Navigating Grief Beyond Death: Understanding Loss in Everyday Life

The Unseen Weight of Change

Not all grief comes from death. Sometimes it shows up in ways we don’t expect. Changes that feel small on the surface can cut deeply into our everyday lives. For my family, that grief came with the loss of our neighborhood family friends—or more accurately, a huge part of our chosen family.

My two oldest kids lost their best friends in this move. My youngest lost not only friends but also what felt like bonus older siblings. For me, I lost the parents who had become trusted friends. They provided a safe home where my kids were always welcome and cared for as if they were their own. During the school year, our houses were filled with afterschool playdates and sleepovers. In the summer, the kids moved back and forth between homes for days at a time. It was the kind of connection that made life feel lighter, easier, and deeply supported.

The Emotional Aftermath

The week that followed their move included tears, sleepless nights, and constant conversations about visits and reasons why they might move back. Much like the grief that comes with death, we found ourselves vacillating between stages—denial, disbelief, and sadness.

As a therapist, I walk alongside clients through their grief. Yet I was surprised by how hard I was hit by this loss myself. I caught myself trying to push it aside. I told myself I shouldn’t feel this sad, that after all, they’re alive and well, just across the country. But then I remembered the same truth I remind my clients: what we resist, persists. Grief asks to be felt, and pushing it away only makes it louder.

The Reality of Loss

The loss is real, even if FaceTime makes it possible to see each other. We’ve lost the daily and weekly check-ins. The ease of walking down the street to play soccer or ball tag is gone. The comfort of grabbing Starbucks with a friend who feels like family has vanished. My kids have lost the friends they grew up with, the ones they could count on through thick and thin.

We are grieving not only the now but also the future moments that will no longer happen—holidays, milestones, and simple everyday joys. This is a profound loss that deserves recognition.

Embracing Change and Grief

Change and loss are a part of life. With time, the sharp edges of grief begin to soften. The memories we’ve made will bring more joy than pain. But for now, we’re choosing to go gently on our hearts. We honor this loss rather than diminish it. Because sometimes, even the grief of a move can feel as heavy as any other loss.

At Transforming Tides Psychotherapy, I often remind clients that grief isn’t limited to death—it can come with any significant change or transition. If you’re navigating a loss like this, whether big or small, your feelings are valid. Give yourself space and compassion. Just as the tides rise and fall, so too does grief—shifting and softening over time.

Finding Support in Grief

Grief can feel isolating, but it’s important to remember that you are not alone. Seeking support from friends, family, or professionals can help you navigate this difficult time. Sharing your feelings can lighten the burden. It can also provide a sense of connection that is often lost during times of change.

The Importance of Community

Building a supportive community is essential. Surrounding yourself with people who understand your experience can provide comfort. They can offer empathy and validation. Whether it’s through support groups or informal gatherings, connecting with others can help you process your grief.

Creating New Memories

As you navigate this loss, consider creating new memories. While it may feel daunting, finding ways to honor the past while embracing the future can be healing. Plan new activities with your family or friends. Explore new places together. This can help fill the void left by the loss and create new connections.

Conclusion: A Journey Through Grief

Grief is a journey, not a destination. It ebbs and flows, much like the tides. Allow yourself to feel the emotions that arise. Recognize that it’s okay to grieve the loss of friendships, routines, and connections. The path may be rocky, but it can also lead to growth and healing.

In the end, remember that grief is a natural response to change. It’s a testament to the love and connections we have in our lives. Embrace the journey, and give yourself the grace to heal.