Holding Mixed Emotions During the Holidays

The holidays are often described as joyful and magical—a time filled with connection, celebration, and cherished traditions with friends and family. And for many people, those moments are real and meaningful. At the same time, the holidays can also bring a quieter, heavier emotional undercurrent. Grief for loved ones we’ve lost or who now live far away. Sadness for traditions that have changed or no longer fit. Emotional exhaustion after the build‑up and excitement gives way to a sense of emptiness or the familiar holiday blues.

If this resonates, you are not alone. Mixed emotions during the holidays are not a sign that something is wrong with you—they are a natural response to change, loss, and reflection.

Allowing All Emotions to Visit

One gentle place to begin is by allowing all emotions to come, visit, and move through us. Joy, grief, gratitude, loneliness, relief, sadness—none of these need to cancel each other out. When we make space for our full emotional experience, we tend to struggle less with ourselves.

Rather than asking, “Why do I feel this way?” or trying to push uncomfortable emotions aside, we can practice noticing them with curiosity and compassion. Emotions are not permanent states; they are experiences that ebb and flow. Allowing them reduces the internal battle and helps us feel more grounded and human.

Reflecting on Purpose and Meaning

Once we soften our resistance to what we’re feeling, we can gently turn toward what provides us with purpose and meaning. The transition into a new year often invites reflection—not in the form of pressure-filled resolutions, but through values-based intention.

Ask yourself:

• What matters most to me in this season of my life?

• How do I want to show up for myself and others?

• What gives my days a sense of meaning, even in small ways?

  
  

Living in alignment with our values doesn’t require dramatic change. It often looks like small, intentional steps—reaching out for connection, setting boundaries, caring for our bodies, or honouring rest. These choices help anchor us when emotions feel complex or overwhelming.

Shifting Gently Into the New Year

As the calendar turns, it’s common to feel pressure to “start fresh” or leave difficult feelings behind. Instead, consider carrying your experiences with you—allowing the new year to be a continuation rather than a clean break.

Supporting your mental health during this transition might include:

• Maintaining routines that support sleep, movement, and nourishment

• Limiting comparison and unrealistic expectations

• Creating moments of reflection rather than self-criticism

• Reaching out for support when needed

Noticing Daily Glimmers

Alongside honouring difficult emotions, we can also begin to notice glimmers. Glimmers are the opposite of triggers—they are small moments that bring a sense of calm, safety, peace, or connection.

A warm cup of tea. A meaningful conversation. Light through a window. Laughter, music, or a quiet moment of rest. Glimmers don’t erase grief or sadness, but they can coexist with them, gently reminding our nervous system that there is still goodness and connection available.

Practicing awareness of glimmers helps build resilience over time and creates space for steadiness, even during emotionally layered seasons.

Holding It All

The holidays—and the transition into a new year—don’t have to be one thing. They can hold joy and grief, connection and longing, hope and fatigue. When we allow ourselves to experience this complexity with compassion, orient toward what matters most, and seek out small moments of calm and meaning, we care for our mental health in a sustainable, humane way.

If the holidays feel heavy this year, know that you don’t have to carry it alone. Support, understanding, and space for all emotions are available—and you deserve them.